Originally a message given to students from Cru at Kennesaw State University on their Spring Break trip.
I always wanted to be a private detective. Looking at clues, noticing the minor details no one else did, and having a big reveal of who the killer is. Sounds like a dream to me. When that didn’t pan out (turns out I’m not very observant of my surroundings), I chose the next best job for solving mysteries –medicine.
You’ve probably been to the doctor before. Maybe an urgent care or a hospital? When you go, they start off by asking a lot of questions. What allergies do you have, any past surgeries, why are you here, any health issues on your mom or dad’s side, do you smoke or drink, are you in any pain, and lots more. Why do they ask these questions?
They ask so that they know how to proceed. If you come into a hospital because you feel like you have the flu, and the doctor walks in, looks you up and down, and says, “We’ll get you a cast for that arm.” First, you would think, “what about my arm makes you think it’s broken?” and then you would think, “That’s not what I came in for.” Until he or she asks questions, a doctor doesn’t know what you came in for or where you’re at health wise. In the same way, we don’t know where someone is at spiritually until we ask questions and listen to their answers. We should be spiritual explorers.
There are three principles that go with being a “spiritual explorer,” asking, listening, and trusting.
Asking Questions
Before we can get too deep into a conversation with someone, we have to know where that person is spiritually. Maybe they’ve already been walking with Jesus or maybe they’ve never even heard the gospel. Maybe there are particular barriers to them hearing and understanding the gospel. By asking questions, we discover all of that.
We can’t guess where people are spiritually, we can only discover it. This may come as a shock to some of us, but we don’t know everything. We don’t know what someone has experienced or is currently experiencing spiritually. And we shouldn’t make assumptions on this because like the theoretical doctor above, we could be very, very off.
An excellent example of when assumptions would’ve caused conversations to go sideways is found in the book of John. Let me set the scene. On one hand, we have a religious teacher, a man who has studied theology his entire life. At this point, he probably had entire passages and chapters of the Bible as it was memorized. Top dog religious figure here. On the other hand, we have a woman who is 5 husbands down and living with a man who isn’t her husband. Who would you think would respond well to a spiritual conversation? What assumptions would you make? Well, let’s see how they each responded to Jesus.
First, we’ll see the religious teacher’s response. Before this, Jesus had just told the religious leader, Nicodemus, that people would be brought to life – born again – by God’s Spirit. No longer would people be in bondage to their mistakes! Nicodemus’ response? Read the interaction below.
“Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ the wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
Nicodemus said to him, “How can these things be?”
Jesus answered him, “Are you the teacher of Israel and yet you do not understand these things?”
(John 3:7-10)
Nicodemus responded with confusion, surprise, and honestly what sounds to me like a hint of disbelief. I think we see this in the way Jesus responds to him. “You’re a religious teacher and you don’t get it? You don’t understand how great this is?”
Now Jesus makes a similar revelation to the woman. Once again, He points out that people will be brought to life by the Spirit – they will worship in Spirit and truth.
The woman said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When He comes, He will tell us all things.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am He.”… So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?”
(John 4:25-29)
Very different, right? She responded with absolute enthusiasm and joy, even going out to bring others into the conversation.
The point of the comparison is we never know who is open, what they look like, their background, even their attitude. Nicodemus came to Jesus to ask questions and the woman was approached by Jesus. Yet in this interaction, she responded much more positively. We never know who is open.
Don’t make assumptions. Ask questions. Get to know people. Understand where they’re coming from and where they are. And JUST as important, listen to their answers.
Listening Well
Going back to the example of the doctor, has anyone had an experience where they shared their concerns with a doctor and they gave you an answer that was way over here topic wise? Not really close at all to what your concerns were? I know I’ve experienced that. And when that happened, do you remember the frustration, disappointment, and even hurt you may have felt after that? Well, that’s exactly what happens to others when we ask questions but don’t listen.
Listening communicates care. Listening also helps us to truly understand where someone is at. There are a few helpful things we should listen for in spiritual conversations: common ground, unmet needs, and traces of the Spirit.
First up, listen for common ground. Read Acts 17:22-25.
So Paul standing in the midst of the Areopagus, said: “Men of Athens, I perceive that in every way you are very religious. For as I passed along and observed the objects of your worship, I found also an altar with this inscription: ‘To the unknown god.’ What therefore you worship as unknown, this I proclaim to you. The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth does not live in temples made by man, nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.”
Here we see Paul connecting with the Athenians but drawing on something they care about. They had a lot of religious or spiritual zeal. They just needed to know where – and in Who – to put it. In the same way, don’t overcomplicate these conversations. Start talking to people about things they like, places they’ve been, and how they’re doing. Get to know them! Listen to what they love and care about. That alone speaks volumes to people.
You should also listen for any unmet needs. We were created for relationship with God. When we live outside of this, there are some serious deficiencies. This can show up in several ways. Anxiety, hopelessness, lack of purpose, absence of peace. Listen for these things. Going back to Acts 17, Paul noticed that they were searching for someone or something to worship. They had statues to “unknown gods.” They wanted to cover all their bases. They wanted to make sure they got it right. So Paul noticed their unmet need and began a conversation on how he met this need in his own life.
Finally, listen for traces of the Spirit. These are areas where God is already working in people’s lives. This may look like spiritual encounters they experienced, thoughts about God, or questions about eternity. God deeply cares about people more than we ever could. He is already working in their lives. We may not know what someone needs or how God is working, but the Holy Spirit knows. He knows them deeply. He knows what they need.
And this brings up another incredibly vital aspect of listening: we need to listen to the Holy Spirit. We don’t know what others need. And even more, we can’t change people’s hearts. This is where the third principle comes in, trusting.
Trusting God
Trusting is the final aspect of the Explorer. This involves remembering that we are A PART of God’s plan for others but not necessarily THE PLAN. We are called to walk alongside others, but we are not the sole actor in their hearts. Look at 1 Corinthians 3:5-7.
What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.
It’s God who gives the growth.
But maybe like me you’ve been pretty discouraged with “the growth” And yeah it goes in quotes because it’s kind of non-existent. Maybe some of you are thinking, “This sounds exhausting. Is this even worth it?” At least that’s where I was not that long ago. I heard everyone around me talk and talk about spiritual conversations, and I felt burdened. It was hard for me to start these conversations and when I did, they never felt successful. I never got to “bring someone to Jesus.” What was the point?
What I didn’t understand was the goal of spiritual conversations.
You see, the goal of spiritual conversations is not to share the gospel. (Oop, um, did she just say that?) The goal of spiritual conversations is that through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we display Jesus’s love for others, giving us the opportunity to plant seeds and share the gospel. Let me say that again. The goal of spiritual conversations is that through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we display Jesus’s love for others, giving us the opportunity to plant seeds and share the gospel.
This means that a “successful” spiritual conversation is one in which we follow God’s guidance on where to go, what to say, and what not to say. It could mean that you share the gospel with someone and they start a relationship with Jesus. Or it could mean they simply see the love of Jesus on display through you asking caring questions and listening well. One is not better or more successful than the other. We have to trust that God will continue to work even when we’re not around. A person’s salvation is not on us. We don’t give the growth. We plant and water.
But in the goal of spiritual conversations, there’s a key phrase: display the love of Jesus. This is impossible to do if you don’t understand His love yourself. There’s a good God who really loves you. Truly. And He is better than anything or anyone this world has to offer. He sent Jesus to live perfectly, a way we never could, and die to cover our mistakes. Not because any of us are super amazing or the best or successful, but because of His loving, good nature. He offers this gift of loving sacrifice to everyone, they simply must believe and surrender. So come and experience His love. And when you do, just like the woman we talked about earlier, you won’t be able to keep your mouths shut about the God whose great love was poured out for us.
We are able to love others through sharing the gospel because He first loved us. Love is what motivates us as explorers. We reach out and ask questions to everyone, rich, poor, broken, successful because Jesus in love first reached out to us when we were broken. We listen well to the hearts of others because Jesus in love saw and heard us in our suffering. And we trust God like Jesus who trusted His Father had everything in His hands as He hung on that cross because we know the Father loves us beyond what we can imagine. Explorers act out of love. So let us pour out the great love God has for us by asking questions, listening well, and trusting the Father.
Resources
- God Space by Doug Pollock
- CoJourners by Cru
- Spiritual conversation tools
Overwhelmed 